Create Confidence: the Importance of Self-Esteem in Young Children

When a child feels confident, they feel like they can take on the world. OT, PT, and Speech are geared towards helping build independence and confidence by helping your child build on the skillsets they need to thrive in life. These could be motor skills, communication, behavior, and more.

Merriam-Webster defines confidence as “a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something.”1 Children assess their success from the feedback that they receive from their environment. This can be from parents, grandparents, teachers, caregivers, friends, or anyone else they spend time with. For children with a disability, self-esteem and confidence can be highly defined by how independent they can perform their regular, day-to-day activities such as getting dressed, writing, reading, etc.  

Being confident is an important trait to develop even in early childhood as it helps create the right mindset in your child. It’s important for them to cultivate the belief that they can succeed, even when they make a mistake or fail, or when a task is difficult or daunting.

Why is self-esteem important?

Confidence and self-esteem, just like with many other traits, begin to develop in early childhood. Of course, it’s important to remember that self-esteem is variable. Each child is unique and some children are more resilient to negative feedback that they might receive from peers or caregivers. Other children may be more sensitive. At the end of the day it’s important to know your own child and discipline and encourage them in a way that they will respond well to.

A child that lacks confidence is more resistant to trying new things or is faster to give up. They are less independent and more prone to develop issues associated with low self-esteem such as anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues. They may be less involved in school activities, socializing with their peers, or learning new skills. This can especially be the case if your child has a disability.

If your child lacks confidence, has low self-esteem, or is struggling with anxiety and/or depression, sometimes the emotional distress they are experiencing can come out in behavioral issues. In a recent study, this was found to be common in children that are Autistic, a population that is at-risk for having low self-esteem and thus developing co-occurring problems such as anxiety disorders and behavioral issues, partly caused by internalizing problems .2

A study looking into the mental health and behavior in children with dystonia (“a movement disorder in which sustained or intermittent muscle contractions cause twisting, repetitive movements or abnormal posture”) looked into how behavioral difficulties and emotional distress was more common among children with disabilities, such as dystonia and cerebral palsy.3The study claims that “emotional distress can present as challenging behavior (i.e., screaming, aggression and self-injurious behavior) instead of symptoms usually associated with mood disorder,” and children “exhibit externalizing behaviours of distress as a way of communicating their emotional distress.”4

It’s important to note that a lack of self-esteem is an indicator that there may be other, underlying issues to look out for that are causing effects such as behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, and more. These signs can show that your child does not feel confident in themselves or in their skillset. They may feel like they are unable to be able to do things that their peers are doing, and so they feel left out. Problems with speech or motor skills may lead them to feel that they can’t communicate or participate in activities, and thus their independence is impeded. In certain cases, challenges may not become apparent until your child is older, such as dyslexia or trouble with fine motor skills.

What Can You Do to Help Your Child’s Confidence and Motivation?

 

Every person faces challenges each day, and everyone will face failure and mistakes. Additionally, life is filled with scary, new situations. There is a first time for everything, and it’s important that your child recognizes this so that they build confidence in themselves and know that they can succeed when a challenge arises. Let them know that it is okay to make mistakes and fail sometimes. Be encouraging and give your child the appropriate amount of responsibility so that they feel included in the choices they make in their day-to-day life.

If you see that your child is struggling or seems to be self-conscious, teach them how to cope with difficult emotions or situations, and approach situations that your child may normally avoid because their shy or embarrassed, such as asking a question in class or making a phone call.5

Regular mental health screenings, and paying attention to behaviors such as anxiety and anger should be a regular part of the care routine with your child, regardless of whether your child has a disability, “as anxiety and self-esteem are linked; it is important for anxiety treatment to consider factors which may influence both factors, such as lack of social opportunities, trauma from bullying or exclusion, and negative body perception or view of disability.”6

By building self-confidence, your child is improving their quality of life as it may stop issues such as anxiety and behavioral issues from progressing to the point that they are debilitating.  It lets your child learn how to deal with the difficult challenges and emotions that come with everyday life.

Another great way to set up your child for success is to help them through providing services such as OT, PT, or Speech if they are struggling in certain areas of their life. Therapy isn’t the answer to everything, but if you see that your child is struggling with behavior, daily tasks, communication, or anything else, it’s always a great idea to get an evaluation scheduled where a therapist can give you more insight about what sort of struggles your child may be facing.

Our goal is to provide children, along with their parents and schools, with the support and the tools that they need in order to meet each day with confidence. For more than 25 years, we at EJ Therapy have been committed to providing pediatric occupational, physical and speech therapy services to children of ranging abilities, including those who are developing typically and those with developmental delays or disabilities. If you’re wondering whether your child could benefit from occupational therapy, or any of our services, contact our staff today for more information.

  • 1. “Confidence,” Merriam-Webster, January 26, 2022, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/confidence.

    2. van der Cruijsen, Renske, and Bianca E. Boyer. “Explicit and Implicit Self-Esteem in Youth with Autism Spectrum Disorders,” Autism: The International Journal of Research and Practice, vol. 25, no. 2 ( 2021): pp. 349–360.

    3. Bates, Lauren, et al. "Mental health and behaviour in children with dystonia: Anxiety, challenging behaviour and the relationship to pain and self-esteem," European Journal of Paediatric Neurology, vol. 35 (2021): 40.

    4. Bates, “Mental health and behaviour,” 45.

    5. Martinsen, Kristin D., et al. “Change in Quality of Life and Self-Esteem in a Randomized Controlled CBT Study for Anxious and Sad Children: Can Targeting Anxious and Depressive Symptoms Improve Functional Domains in Schoolchildren?” BMC Psychology, vol. 9, no. 1 (Dec. 2021): pp 11.

    6. Bates, “Mental health and behaviour,” 46.

Vicky Moroz

Vicky works closely with a group of EJ’s therapists to curate helpful content geared towards parent education and research-based writing.

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